Friday, March 29, 2019

Album Review: L.A. Guns - The Devil You Know

L.A. Guns is scraping the 80's sleaze-rock barrel, and when the top of that barrel is Mötley Crüe you know shit is pretty abysmal down in the bottom. Even at their best, they were never contenders but for some reason they managed to fool a few people in the late eighties into thinking they were better than they really were. They were not, and they are thankfully back in the Z-list gutter where they belong.

Who is playing in the band this week? Who the fuck knows. Who the fuck cares! Half of California has been through their ranks. At this point, I'm not sure L.A. Guns even knows who is playing on their records. In fact, there are two versions of the band out there and things are getting so confusing I could almost get a headache if I gave a shit.

I feel bad, because I usually try to highlight the positives when writing a review. But what happens when there is nothing positive to be found? What we usually do is refrain from writing. But in this case we thought it would be public service to warn people against the mind-blowing mediocrity of this release.

Most of the "songs" sound like bad imitations of Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith or Judas Priest with generic riffs, verses devoid of any discernible melody, force-fed choruses, a terrible voice and an amateurish production... 

I seem to remember a time when Tracii Guns was genuinely considered a good guitarist, but maybe I dreamt it? I should put on the old records again to make sure but I just don't think I have it in me to ever listen to L.A. Guns again. And I can usually find pleasure in some pretty wretched shit, but that's too much even for me.

Words fail to convey how truly dismal this album is. Adjectives like "appalling" or "awful" spring to mind but it does have one redeeming quality: in all likelihood, no one will every hear it.

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